this weblog was created by me, when I was drunk in Leipzig's MoritzBastei. They had an iMac down there which smiled at me. I was quite interested in weblogs and thought: the best way to find out what they are and how they work is to create one myself.

Now I understand it as digi-diary and I think it's quite cool. It was like a notepad to enter my ideas, which I had during the day, as I have almost everywhere access to the internet.

And then there is another thing.
I started writing knowing that only few people could link darvari or abuleil to my realname.
I wrote right out of my mind, very straight like people when you ask them to fill out a psycological form, as quick as possible without thinking too much about the questions.

Now - being aware that I am actually watched by at least theworld, may influence my stories.
I might no tell everything, cause theworld might not like what she will read. Time goes bye. And I don't wanna hurt theworld with future stories. I might be forced to leave out certain topics.
Well but - anyway - it is a kind of soul stripties, a kind of exhibitionism. And I like it.
It's just that I cannot promise to write regularily.

Today I did it.
I went down to the plane.
Borrowed a depth indicator from a scuba diver and went down.
I did not expect this, just wanted to measure how deep I get. After yesterday when I tried several times to find it.
And today there it was:
first I saw the back part, shining white in that depth.
Then the cabin.
I was so damn lucky.
Now I succeeded with my goal for this year.

And not to meantion how I felt these days.
Feels like someone's or somethin's givin me energy.
There can't be no other explanation for all these things that just work out.

And also my inner state, I've never felt so calm inside. This is probably the best week of this year for me.

I almost made fun of myself of beeing so positive. Where's all my pessimism and sarcasm gone.
Really don't know if it's only the effect of this one week of holidays.

Yesterday I watched 'As Good As It Gets' with Jack Nickolson. Another good reflection on 'stones' like me.

Everything I did this week just turned out well.
I have no fear of anything. Strange.
When I bought a bottle of whine 2 days ago I could not know that I was going to use it for tonights' dinner. So - everything made sense.
God knows, I'm fine.
How are you ?

I had few days in which everything went as easy, simple and satisfying as today.
I managed to get all that necessary papers I need to have for obtaining my new license. The man to examnie me was in the right place and at the right time. Everything went fine. Also with the medical certificate. All problems suddenly disappear.
I really feel satisfied, and god I thank you, I realize when I feel comfortable ;-)
Seems like to month September which I was lookin forward to so much really fullfills all my expectations.

Strange. I know a saying:"Be carefull what you wish".
Now I know everything will work out fine.
(I must laugh about myself:no slight trace of pessimism, sarcasm - I must have eat some pills - haha)